sweetly in the trees

at nine months...

2012-02-12T16:23:00.004-05:00

precious titus

:: weighs in at only 17.5 pounds (9th percentile) and is 28 inches long (15th percentile). definitely a little guy!

:: crawls all over the house. and stands holding on to things. and walks holding onto things. i am sure that first steps and all out walking are not far behind.

:: loves playing with and next to his brothers. he is certainly ready to join their world and be one of the big kids.

:: has one little tooth in the bottom of his mouth.

:: waves and says "hi" to just about anyone within earshot. he has the sweetest little voice!

:: loves taking a bath with his brothers more than anything else we do all day. he wiggles and cheers as soon as he hears the water running.

:: loves to drum and sing and dance. at this point, i am not surprised. he is a sivyer boy. is there anything else in life worth doing?

:: is the clingiest, most dramatic of our children so far, i believe. but honestly, i don't mind one bit. i am happy to hold him close when he wants me!

:: gives the biggest open-mouthed baby kisses. in my (nearly!) four years of being a mother, i can honestly say that those first baby kisses are absolutely my favorite thing. i melt every time!

:: is incredibly sweet. several times a day, he will just lay his little head on me and cuddle. what a blessed mama i am to have such an easy-going, loving little third son!

louisiana :: new orleans

2012-01-31T19:59:00.002-05:00

on our way home from visiting family, we spent a night in new orleans. steve and i both have a special connection to the city. we first started dating there in 1999 (youth group missions trip, i was 14, he was 15... i know really crazy!), we returned at least every other summer until we had kids. i spent a summer on staff with urban impact ministries, serving and learning in the neighborhood. our various experiences with the ministry and in that city have deeply shaped who we are as a family.

it has been four years since our last visit, and it was lovely just being in a place that holds so much history for us. we were able to briefly visit with the pastor at castle rock community church (UIM's church) and get a quick look at their new facility. our short time there was such a great reminder of how God works in even the darkest of places and hardest of circumstances.

the boys had a blast walking the city and playing the tourist. we visited the insectarium, where steve, gabe and ezra all tasted various bug foods (yes, foods with bugs in them!), rode the streetcar, and ate beignets and muffalettas (no idea why i never liked mufalattas before, they are incredible!).

{yes, ezra kicked off his shoe while we were at audubon park and rode back on the streetcar with only one. we did go back and find his shoe later}

{also, i realize i am in not one of these pictures. i will try to do better, if for no other reason, to one day be able to tell my children that i did, in fact, exist and do things with them when they were little}

louisiana :: new iberia

2012-01-29T20:49:00.004-05:00

for new years, we drove out to louisiana to visit my family in new iberia. all of my dad's brothers and sisters and most of their kids live there, so we try to make it out once every few years to see them. my parents met us out there, and we all spent a few days relaxing, laughing and watching the boys run crazy in the back yard. my uncle rod is a very impressive gardener and, as always, i so enjoyed taking a peek and being inspired by his work (and all of the kids loved picking and eating the carrots).

{disclaimer, a million pictures to follow}

{seriously, it was this foggy on every bridge crossed, at three in the afternoon!}

friends

2012-01-23T21:00:00.003-05:00

for new years, we took a little vacation (more on that later!). the boys and i headed to tallahassee a little ahead of steve so that i could get in some time with the girls. we try to do a yearly get together, but have not succeeded in getting anything planned for this year. so, we settled for wine and desserts one random night while we were all in town for the holidays. as always, it was so lovely to be with them and i really enjoyed catching up and looking back.

the next morning, the boys and i went over to ginny's house and had a playdate with her and her son nate, who was a great sport for letting three crazy boys invade his house and play with all (and i mean ALL!) of his toys.

out of the mouth of gabe

2012-01-21T18:58:00.002-05:00

:: "can God get eaten by a dinosaur?"

:: "these are what my mouth likes" (as he chews a green gummy bear)

:: "mom, one day you're gonna be my wife... i mean eleanor is. someday, titus will be esther's husband and ezra will be a husband to arden. later, i will go to their house and tell them."

:: "ezra, those are some worship owls!" (as ezra moves the owls that were apparently attending gabe's pretend church service)

:: "these eggs taste like dying people."

:: we explained to him the meaning behind the red and white candy canes around christmas. now, he wants to know what the rainbow ones mean. and he gave this explanation for the blue and white ones that someone gave them, "the blue means that there is a pond in the woods. the white means that the walls turn into meat."

:: "let's get out of this smooky cave!" (a combination of the words smokey and spooky?)

:: "mom, for my birthday, i am going to get a spatula spider locked in a cage full of water." (he meant tarantula)

:: "could the armored car come by for my piggy bank?"

:: recounting the plot of the veggie tales version of the story of saint nicholas to me in the car one day, "mom, nicholas was lonely, so jesus sent god to be his daddy... and god sent jesus to be his mommy!"

:: "mom, maybe when we go on a plane, we could ask the pilot to take us to heaven."

:: "i am going to sing a song... everybody, everything, needs medicine!"

:: "it's gonna be a long time to get to grandma's. its called 'the journey of the holy land'"

:: a checker flag! my favorite flag in the whole world!"

:: one day in the car, i threw gabe a sucker for being generally awesome, but it bounced off of him and onto the floor. he burst into hysterical tears and i asked him if he was sad or hurt. his reply was, "hurt! that sucker must have been for ezra because i don't like blue!"

:: "mom, poppy is an orphan." (poppy is my dad)

:: "they don't have anymore suckers? it's not sucker season?" (we go over the concept of food being "in season" at the grocery store every week when he asks me to please buy an overpriced watermelon.)

:: "hiccoughs are when your bones wiggle up and they hurt you."

:: (to the tune of "he's got the whole world in his hands") "he's got the whole brother in his head... christ the lord!"

before i forget...

2011-12-28T22:29:00.002-05:00

our christmas tree. it was decorated for all of ten minutes (if that) before the boys stripped it of all the ornaments and started playing with them. titus and ezra both also got a kick out of pulling the ribbon, thus tilting the tree. also, ezra made a habit out of placing whatever toy he was using in the tree for safekeeping. it was definitely not our most beautiful tree, but each day when i laid eyes on its ridiculous state, i was reminded that those little scoundrels will soon be too old to care about messing the christmas tree up, and so i sighed and just took it all in.

christmas!

2011-12-28T22:13:00.003-05:00

this year, we celebrated christmas at home. we opened gifts as a family and had a small breakfast and mid-morning, were joined by my parents and brother and some people from our gospel community for brunch. it was such a lovely morning and sweet time with people we love dearly.

{homemade hallway magnet board!}

{thrifted suitcase full of handmade dress-ups}

{skype with aunt heather in korea}

carols and candlelight

2011-12-28T22:00:00.003-05:00

every year, coquina hosts christmas eve at the plaza. we meet downtown among the christmas lights (named one of the top 10 places to see christmas lights by national geographic this year!) and sing christmas carols and read the story of jesus' birth. it is always a lovely way to celebrate together.

{beware: many, many pictures to follow... i got a new lens for christmas and can't get enough}

at two years...

2011-12-25T14:23:00.003-05:00

our sweet ezra

:: is really learning to speak. he definitely took his time developing a vocal presence, but has finally decided that there is some benefit to learning to talk. some of his favorite things to say are: "whe ah oooo" (where are you?), "ay bay bay" (i am a baby, as he cuddles up in your lap), "mine", "may" (me! as he points to an animal in a book and claims to be it).

:: is not a huge fan of sharing... unless it is with titus. he really has a soft spot for his younger brother. anytime there is a titus-related thing loose in the house, ezra promptly delivers it to his brother with a grin.

:: is not even the teeniest bit interested in potty training. of course, the will not stop me from trying again once we get back in town from our holiday travels...

::is pretty fearless. anything that gabe does on the playground, ezra does right behind him. often, this means that i have to act as his shadow because he will just step off of high equipment or jump from high places.

:: shares a room with gabe where he sleeps on the bottom bunk.

:: loves to sleep and looks forward to nap time each day.

:: is a dancing fool and loves to sing. currently, he sings "this is the day. this is the day." he cannot, however, seem to get to the next line ("that the lord has made") without help. doesn't seem to bother him, though. he is more than happy to sing that one line over and over and over all day long.

:: has to be watched carefully when we are coloring or painting. he is a menace with a marker.

:: loves shoes. and pajamas. and likes to model them for the mirror. and likes to tell me what he wants to wear.

:: stands at the window at tells me every time a car drives by. if you have ever been to our house, you know how many that is.

:: is super affectionate. at least a couple of times a day, he just hug me out of the blue, just because. we are so blessed that he is ours, and are enjoying watching him grow into an energetic boy.

st pete

2011-12-16T21:57:00.002-05:00

some pictures from our trip to st petersburg at the end of thanksgiving:

camping out!

2011-12-13T22:58:00.003-05:00

thanksgiving night, steve and the big boys camped out in my mom's woods. this was their first camping experience, and they were really psyched. we roasted marshmallows in the front yard and then i sent them off all bundled up to giggle themselves to sleep with their daddy. i am excited to have this become a tradition for them and for titus to join in next year!

a quick farm thanksgiving

2011-12-12T16:29:00.004-05:00

this year, thanksgiving was a little hectic. we did, however, get to go to madison and stay with my parents (more on that later!) and then to live oak to have thanksgiving dinner at the farm. as always, the boys loved being at the farm. ezra was particularly into the animals this year, bravely feeding the cows and staring at the chickens for far too long. gabe was interested in the animals, too, but not nearly as much as he was interested in hanging out with the big kids. this year was his year to join in on the climbing and exploring and getting dirty. and sweet titus was more than happy to be handed around from person to person for the first hour or so and then take a nice long nap tucked away in his carseat.

{in ofie's absence, john made the pink salad! we were all very proud}

{yes, he was climbing with a wine glass}

{thanks john for the awesome titus t-shirt!}

and of course, we took the opportunity to get our (nearly) annual picture of the four generations of sivyer men.

out of the mouth of gabe

2011-12-08T13:51:00.002-05:00

:: "i have two things... a bug bite and a wedgie."

:: "at my wedding, i am going to wear a nemo costume. i think my wife is going to wear a peter pan costume."

:: this week, we went putt putt golfing in the evening. first thing the next morning, gabe told me, "mom, lets go putt putt in the day next time 'cause i am not nocturnal, so i can't see in the dark."

:: "i think that monkey is a girl 'cause she has boobs!"

:: at chick-fil-a one night, as titus was eyeing gabe's ice cream, gabe told him, "no, titus, icecream is dairy!"

:: "alright, sing the pickle song! [singing] everyone loves different kinds of pickles"!

:: "mom, i love you. but i don't love daddy because he has spikes!" this is a constant in our home. gabe is adamant that he does not like steve's stubble. he also tells steve "daddy you are a hedgehog, 'cause you are so spiky!"

:: right now, he talks a lot about "santa claw" and sings the song "jinger bells!"

at seven months

2011-12-07T20:52:00.003-05:00

sweet titus...

:: makes this face. a lot. it is his trademark face and i love it. and he knows it is hilarious.

:: says "mama" and "bubba" and seems to actually understand what they mean sometimes (and at other times, it is clear that he is just practicing using his voice). he also says what sounds like "hi" on occasion.

:: waves and shakes his head "no".

:: can army crawl all over the house. he also does the pre-crawl rock and picks his hand up and sets it down very deliberately. shouldn't be too long before he puts it all together and we have a crawler on our hands.

:: taught himself to go to sitting while i was not looking. i just turned around and there he was sitting up, playing on the floor. the tile floor. after i gasped and rushed over to him, i managed to regain my composure and come to terms with the fact that titus's boo boo free life has officially come to an end. welcome to the world of bumps and bruises, dear one.

:: is eating quite a few solid foods, but is by far our pickiest eater.

:: is always kicking his left foot up and down. it really never stops. even when he is playing on his belly on the floor, that foot is moving.

:: is definitely a very active baby. anyone that has held him will tell you that he really never stops moving and twisting and squirming. there are so many things in the world, and he wants to discover them all up close.

:: is incredibly loved by his brothers. gabe coos at him and is constantly telling him how precious he is. and ezra joins him on the floor throughout the day to demonstrate proper crawling technique. what fun those three have together!

rocket man

2011-11-17T22:25:00.004-05:00

wednesday, the boys and i stayed in our pajamas (nearly) all day; i didn't sweep floors, wash dishes or fold laundry. instead, we made coke bottle jet packs and jetted around the living room all morning. it was exactly what we all needed!

and, yes, gabe's rocket has blue and green fire. i showed him a clip form "the rocketeer" to illustrate how a jet pack works and apparently he didn't think it looked all that fun. he insisted that he would take his rocket with no fire. eventually, he settled on "red fire is too scary, but blue fire is not scary, mom."

out of the mouth of gabe

2011-11-09T20:58:00.002-05:00

:: during tae kwon do, while doing a pushup. "i gotta get my body all exercized!"

:: "hey mom, does bimini have a bigina? go girls have butts? do girls pee with their butts?"

:: he asked me what guts were, so i told him that they are the insides of a living thing's body. after a pause, he told me "mom, guts are the stuff in your junk that wiggle around."

:: in response to the now colder weather outside "hey mom, are the birds putting on jackets?"

:: praying for steve at lunch today, "our father. i need daddy. i want him to eat lunch. i like riding on his back. amen."

:: "mom, we need to go to arden and esther's house again because i forgot to wear a dress."

:: "hey mom, soon you will have our girl baby and we will have two babies. and when i grow up to be big, i will take one of our babies with me, because you will still have our girl baby." (no i am not pregnant, gabe is just still obsessed with the sister that he has wanted since i was pregnant with titus.) i told him that maybe instead, he would like to get married to a nice girl and have babies of his own. he responded that he would rather just take titus because he loved titus.

:: after ezra had a potty training accident on the carpet today, "ezra... it's not FLOOR training!"

:: "mom, all the kids in the whole world need to be wild things because there are not enough kids in our family."

:: "mom, my tummy hurts. i think i have a fever. cause you hear this deeper voice?" (while making his voice exaggeratedly low)

:: "i want something warm because i am not sad." when picking out a snack, gabe's choice depends on his sadness level. if he is sad, he wants a snack from the fridge. if he is not sad, he wants a snack from the pantry. it has been a month, and he still operates off of this incredibly unusual system. if that doesn't make him the weirdest kid you have ever met, i need to meet your friends.

:: while playing soccer the other day (and apparently pretending to be someone else), "hey mom, my mom and dad are in jail... they're wrestling... and then they're drug... and they do every bad thing and they kill people. i don't have anybody to cook for me."

:: and finally, gabe has taken to explaining the rules of wrestling in the sivyer home (though he calls them steps to wrestling). there are many of them and this video does not cover even a fraction of the rules he has decided on, but here are a few of them:

he fits in just fine

2011-11-08T12:47:00.002-05:00

already, titus is learning what it takes to make it in the world with two older brothers. he has learned to roar. and he does it all the time. its pretty great (and probably pretty vital to his survival). love that he is already such a boy.

out back

2011-11-06T00:12:00.003-04:00

now that the weather has become so fantastically gorgeous, the big boys have been spending a lot of time playing in the backyard. they swing (gabe swings very well all by himself), and slide (ezra loves driving cars down the slide and then yelling "see" so that i watch him go down like a big kid), and dig and chalk up the patio. i love that they are old enough to play on their own and that they enjoy playing together so much. they always come in with filthy hands (and hair and clothes... gabe likes to put dirt on his head) and it makes me smile because a part of me thinks that this is what being a boy is about.

at six months...

2011-11-04T12:53:00.003-04:00

sweet titus:

:: is very vocal. he squeals, babbles and giggles all day.

:: weighs 15 pounds 13 ounces (25th percentile) and is 27 inches long (75th percentile).

:: scoots all over the floor in excited bursts. he can get anywhere he wants and will surely be crawling soon.

:: eats a few solid foods, but is still mastering the art of keeping them in his mouth.

:: goes through spurts of good sleep but often reverts back to waking up. maybe teething? or maybe just a desire for some cuddle time with mommy. either way, i indulge him without shame. he will be a big kid in his own bed and running with the brothers soon enough... i will let him be a cuddly baby now and love every second.

:: has a special love for steve. whenever steve comes home from work, there is no one else that catches titus's interest. the only one worth listening to or looking at is steve. it is so neat watching their relationship develop.

:: can sit up for (very) short periods of time.

:: has brown eyes! his baby eye color has faded and he is definitely a brown-eyed guy. it does look, however, like he will have gabe's blonde hair (although it may be a little soon to tell).

:: is such a sweet and mild-tempered boy. having three is (mostly) a dream because he is such an easy guy. we love him!

wild things!

2011-10-31T21:55:00.003-04:00

tonight was our first time taking any of the boys trick-or-treating. yesterday, when i told gabe about it worked and i got to the part where the person who answered the door puts a piece of candy in your bucket, his jaw dropped and his eyes got huge! he talked about it all day and could not wait to get out there. he practiced and practiced at home throughout the morning and when it came time for the real thing, his practice really payed off! you could hear him yelling "trick or treat" from the next house over. if enthusiasm and volume were a halloween contest, gabe would beat the best of them. he was amazing. and ezra's version of the phrase improved as the night went on until it was pretty clear what he was trying to say. titus hung out in the sling and (eventually) fell asleep.

i got a little carried away this year making their costumes, but in my defense, i had a lot of fun! the pictures really do not do them justice... the walking talking versions are incredible!

pumpkins, blank stares and scowls

2011-10-29T13:45:00.002-04:00

pretty sure this year's pumpkin pictures are an accurate depiction of how it will go from here on out. with three, they are never all happy, looking at the camera, sitting down, or aware of what we are doing. but in the end, i kind of like it because it really is such a picture of our lives these days... always going in three (or more!) directions.

ancient city kids day

2011-10-19T19:37:00.002-04:00

gabe had a blast and cried when we left. ezra was sick and droopy but still had fun. titus slept. steve took all the pictures.

picnic with friends

2011-10-18T14:34:00.002-04:00

why yes, each of the older children did take a turn sitting in the tree. they all went up enthusiastically but not all were extremely comfortable once they got there.

birthday

2011-10-17T22:39:00.003-04:00

so, my birthday was at the beginning of the month. i am 27 now, which feels pretty close to 30, which is a pretty adult age to be. but i suppose having three kids put me in the "adult" category when i was still 26. i just never feel like i am one of the "real" adults, ya know. pretty sure i could have 7 kids and still not feel like a "grown-up". oh well.

so, for my birthday steve surprised me with an ipad (!!!! very unexpected... we do not buy gadgets! it is so pretty. and i love it and i love him too.) i told him he should be very proud because i am pretty much unsurpriseable (exception: when my parents gave me mordy. very surprised them. that is two surprises in my life). i thought he was getting me this camera lens that i have been drooling over because i told him to get it for me (we do not come from people who do surprises, you know, so we just tell each other what to get. its very practical, and i like it). but the little sneak went off and bought me an ipad instead (i forgive him). it was a lovely feeling, being surprised.

anyways, that was a really long way to say: here are a few of the pictures that the boys and i have taken with my birthday ipad. gosh, that was much shorter.

life right now in video form

2011-10-05T13:37:00.002-04:00

just a few videos that i took yesterday that sum our life up pretty well at the moment:

gabe and titus playing. they are already such great buddies!

ezra singing. there is very little time during our day when someone isn't singing one made-up song or another. this particular song was about me.

gabe at tae kwon do. there is a free class at a christian school nearby that gabe and steve have been attending. it has been great for them to have something special to do together each week and we are hoping that gabe will learn some direction-following skills from going! also, please note that steve is doing what the instructor said to do and gabe is making it up as he goes with as much yelling as possible.

at five months...

2011-10-04T13:16:00.004-04:00

darling titus:

:: babbles and chats with us all. he finds gabe especially amazing and always laughs at his silly antics.

:: watches us eat our food. will be time to give him solids next month, and i think that he will be very ready!

:: is incredibly content. he really spends most of the day just enjoying the company of all of us... happy just to be hanging out. he does not demand entertainment, although i suppose, with two older brother, the entertainment is always there.

:: props himself up very well when lying on his belly. and when there is an enticing toy nearby, makes obvious effort to get to it so that he can put it in his mouth.

:: puts everything in his mouth. especially loves to chew on his toes. also, he has now managed to put his pacifier back in all by himself several times.

:: is growing wonderfully and getting pleasantly chubbier every day!

:: is great about letting other people hold him. and when i catch his eye from across a room, he smiles so huge, my heart melts into a puddle right there at my feet.

:: has been fussing a lot at bedtime (but not at all at naptime!), so i think that a consistent bedtime routine might be in order.

:: has a teeny birthmark just above his left eye. well, truthfully, he has had it for quite some time, but i am now convinced that it is actually a birthmark and not just a "boo boo" from one of his crazy brothers.

:: is so sweet and cuddly and i love him and want to squeeze him all day long (but i don't because obviously that would be a bad idea).

a country vacation

2011-09-20T13:24:00.003-04:00

last week, steve went to a conference with some coquina people, leaving me and the boys on our own for three days. so, rather than stay here alone, we headed to madison to spend a few days with my parents. of course, they were both working during the days (it was the middle of the week), so the boys and i hung out at their house... watching the sunrise with a cup of coffee in hand, taking long walks to look at the butterflies, relaxing on the front porch (me) and running endlessly around and around the front yard (them), playing in the sprinkler and pretending to be on a pirate ship, taking tractor rides with kaki and papa buddy, blanching peas and receiving sweet potatoes from a neighbor.

it really was about as relaxing a time as one mama with three boys could possibly have. in fact, on our last day there, i found myself thinking, "you know, i could really do this 'living in the country' thing. a chicken coop full of chickens, a vegetable garden, maybe a pig or something..." and then i realized that life in the country is not as simple as that felt. there is laundry doing and dinner cooking and floor mopping the same as there is at home. not to mention the bugs. i really don't do bugs.

so, for now, i think that vacationing in the country will do just fine. and how nice to know that we can go any time we want!

kicks and whistles

2011-09-10T13:57:00.003-04:00

so... ezra can whistle. weird right? throughout any given day, i will catch him whistling to himself as he plays. its never very loud, and he does not like to do it if he knows someone is listening, but the other day, i finally got some video of it (just know that you will probably have to turn it way up to hear... couldn't get too close or he would stop). weird kid.

and titus... well i feel like he just could launch out of the tub at any moment!

to the park!

2011-09-09T13:47:00.003-04:00

this week, the big boys and i had appointments to get haircuts. for us, that is a big deal and requires some real planning to pull off. our hairdresser (who we love!) just moved to a new salon which is terribly cute and also fairly small. so, i knew that having them hang out the entire time that i was getting my haircut was not going to be an option. but, the new hair place is downtown and close to one of our favorite st. augustine places... cross park! with the help of our good friend lauren (who hung out with the boys while it was my turn), we had a picnic at cross park (including cupcakes that we snagged at our favorite shop!) and the boys ran around in the grass and fed squirrels all morning. and a bonus: the weather has been cooling off in the mornings, so we were also able to have all that fun without showing up to the salon drenched in sweat!

the driver on the bus goes...

2011-09-08T13:09:00.003-04:00

wah, wah, wah.

wait, pretty sure that is not how it goes. no worries, just a little dispute as to who would be driving our cardboard school bus. we so enjoyed this (fantastically!) temporary toy last week (complete with stop sign, working steering wheel, wipers, emergency exit and "children crossing" arm). the best part, of course, was the part where, after it had worn out its welcome, we put it outside and forgot about it forever. next up: cardboard pirate ship!

what i get...

2011-09-07T17:13:00.002-04:00

when i tell the boys to roar like a lion:

ezra's lion is a little unsure of himself, i think.

at four months...

2011-08-31T13:15:00.004-04:00

our sweet titus:

:: is 26 inches long (90th percentile) and weighs just shy of 15 pounds (50th percentile). his head circumference is only in the 25th percentile, though.

:: is (finally!) sleeping well at night! of course, like it did with both of the other boys, it took moving him into his own room and a couple of tough nights to get there, but a well-rested mama is good for everyone in the family, so we went for it and it paid off! he sleeps from about 8 PM to 6ish AM. some mornings, he does wake up around 5 and fuss, but he always goes back to sleep, and i suspect that soon he will stop waking.

:: rolls over like it is his job. in fact, he now sleeps on his belly because he likes it best that way. took a few nights for me to be okay with it, but really, what could i do?

:: loves to sit in the bumbo chair and watch everyone bustle around him. gabe and ezra also quite like the bumbo, so it is definitely the most fought-over seat in the house.

:: still has an undecided eye color. his hair, however, seems to be heading in the direction of blonde.

:: knows his daddy! as soon as steve walks in the door in the evening, titus locks eyes on him and watches his every move. once he succeeds in getting steve's attention, he grins and squeals with delight, thrilled to be hanging with his dad.

:: loves people with glasses and chats with them loudly.

:: likes to be helped to standing. definitely wobbly, but he is very proud of himself for having such strong legs.

:: has a very deep and manly laugh, uses it sparingly. if you tickle him, he will squeal. he only laugh when something is too hilarious to resist (usually a good pinch of the neck will do it!)

:: has been sleeping unswaddled for a week or two now. it was a tough transition at first, but now he is okay with it.

:: is such a loving and sweet guy. i just cant imagine how we ever lived without our titus!

{note to self: hat knitted from this super quick, really simple pattern! thinking that each of the boys needs one for this winter!}

out of the mouth of gabe

2011-08-30T13:08:00.003-04:00

:: after telling steve that he was tired and wanted to sleep with us and being told that he would not, in fact, be leaving his bed, gabe responded "but my brain says, 'i'm tired, i wanna sleep with mom and dad."

:: gabe uses numbers to explain things these days, but not usually correctly. like the other day he told me he was "five hungry!" to indicate that he really needed to eat right away. and as we were packing to leave tallahassee on sunday, he told me he wanted to stay longer. i asked him how long he wanted to stay for. "ten long" he told me.

:: "daddy, if you got killed, i would be sad because i wouldn't have anyone to wrestle."

:: after another pee accident during a particularly accident-ridden week, i told him that he needed to do a better job listening to his body, to which he responded with a shrug and "my body told me to pee in my pants and underwear."

:: yelled enthusiastically from the back seat, "you get a gun, then you get a knife. then you stab the giraffe and you shoot it. then you make it into hamburgers and hot dogs."

:: after drinking all of his milk "my muscles are as strong as God's now!" i told him that no one is as strong as God. he didn't believe me.

:: before, his curiosity was directed towards fruits and vegetables. now, he wants to know about meats... "mom, is a banana a pig?"

:: "i want to take off my head and touch my brain"

:: at the zoo, steve pulled gabe aside to remind him that we try not to talk about the color of someone's skin. gabe responded with, "but it was important for me to tell her that her skin matches my coke."

:: gabe is currently showing a lot of interest in the names of roads as we drive. as we were driving down deerlake road, he asked why it was named that and steve explained that the area where mimi and papa live has a lot of deer and is surrounded by lakes. when we turned onto copperfield road, he asked "because it has a lot of coppers and a lot of fields?"

:: "clouds. they cost a lot of money."

:: "mom, spit keeps going in to my brain."

:: his stories are getting elaborate these days and usually involve some form of injury (you know, to make then exciting). one morning, with great enthusiasm, he told me "i jump in the water and a shark eat me on the neck! then a stingray sting me on my penis!"

:: "mom, i want a tail"

finally!

2011-08-29T14:01:00.002-04:00

we have been missing, i know. our computer was having some issues, but steve was finally able to fix it last night! i am super happy to be back, and to celebrate i will now share some pictures that have been stuck on the computer for a few weeks.

a while back, steve's parents came for a visit, bringing with them a pair of stand up paddleboards. steve and john took the boards out for a bit, and even gabe and ezra were able to get in on the fun (although, i am not too sure how much they actually liked it!) afterwards, we all went to the beach.

oh.

2011-08-12T14:51:00.000-04:00

chatty little guy.

brotherly love

2011-08-09T13:29:00.002-04:00

gabe adores titus. it makes me so proud to see him loving on and doting over his brother just because he wants to. he tells titus things about his day and makes sure he is included in whatever the family is doing. God knew what he was doing when he made gabe the oldest boy, giving him just the right amount of kindness and love to care for his brothers.

sanibel island

2011-08-06T21:57:00.003-04:00

last weekend, steve took friday and monday off and we headed to the gulf coast to spend some time with my parents, aunt and uncle, and cousin.

this was our first time going to sanibel, and in preparation for the trip, steve read "the lion's paw" out loud to the boys at night before bed for a few weeks. gabe loved the book and spent the weekend talking about penny and nick (characters from the story) and finding lion's paws all over the beach.

before we left, we bought this guide to florida's seashells. throughout the weekend, when the tide washed out, we all headed to the beach and looked for shells and creatures and splashed in the tide pools.

we had such a great time savoring the company of family and starting new traditions and can't wait to go again next summer!

:: please notice how serious my children are in all of these pictures. they did have fun, i promise! ::

at three months...

2011-08-03T14:02:00.003-04:00

sweet titus:

:: weighs 13 pounds and is 24 inches long.

:: has found his squealing voice, and it is loud! despite the angry look on his face, he is actually happy!

:: is on a great daytime schedule (which he holds himself to pretty well). he eats every three hours and naps one to two hours in between feedings.

:: enjoys eating every three hours at night (still). we are working on it, but with dairy allergic babies, sometimes mama's desire to have a couple of pieces of pizza and a slice of key lime pie make sleeping (and any progress in the direction of more sleep) a little tougher to organize. (note to self: do not be fooled by its green appearance... key lime pie is made with sweetened condensed milk... aka: lots of dairy protein!)

:: is really easygoing and adaptable. perhaps this is a result of being the third child, but whatever the reason, i quite appreciate it.

:: wears cloth diapers all day (on most days) and disposables at night.

:: is well loved by his brothers. ezra wants to hug and kiss him all the time and gabe coos over him and talks to him and shows him things all day.

:: makes life just a little more wonderful for all of us!

gabe the protector

2011-07-23T08:22:00.002-04:00

From Steve:

Britt and I were being sassy this morning. She took a dish towel out of my hand, so I smacked her on the butt.

Gabe looks at me, and with absolute seriousness and glaring of the eyes he says: "Don't do that EVER AGAIN."

I said, "We're playing, buddy. But it's good you're being protective of your mother. What about me? What if someone was messing with me?"

Gabe: "I'd slap them too!"

the fourth, fifteen days late

2011-07-19T19:39:00.002-04:00

our fourth was lovely. we spent it as usual with our coquina family, grilling out and watching the fireworks at the fort.

as usual, there are no pictures after dark. gabe is terrified of the fireworks, and this year, even though he had earplugs and covered his ears with his hands, he still cried until we left and begged "mommy, i want to go home". ezra cried as well, but out of sheer exhaustion more than fear. titus, however, watched the fireworks with great interest.

note to self: always dress your children in yellow or orange. they are fast, but at least you can spot them easily in the sea of red, white and blue. there is plenty of time for patriotism when they get older.

zoo

2011-07-18T21:57:00.004-04:00

if you have been reading our blog for any amount of time, you know that my family loves to go to the zoo. we love that it is so close and that we can go for free (thanks mom and dad! best birthday gift ever!). we love the conversations that we have with the boys while we are there (gabe: look mom, those birds are having a party!) and we love the opportunities that it provides us to teach them about how incredibly diverse God's world (and God himself) is.

a couple of weeks ago, we went to the zoo with several other families from our gospel community. while we were there, we celebrated the birthday of a neighborhood boy (whose mother i have known now for 7 years) and spent time with the people who we have come to really consider our family.

between us, we had a total of 14 children. out of those kids, eleven belonged to just three families (ours, the baughers, and the andersons). it was a crazy, busy and fun day!

:: please note that we have officially figured out how to put our three boys all on one stroller ::

(thanks allison!)

tummy time do-over

2011-07-18T21:17:00.002-04:00

this seems to happen a lot around here. apparently titus makes laying around on one's belly look like the most fun that there is to be had in our home. love those boys!

at two months...

2011-07-02T21:15:00.004-04:00

sweet sleepy titus...

:: weighs 10 pounds, 4 ounces (10-25th percentile) and is 23 inches long (50th percentile).

:: is smiley and sweet and flirty. he has one of those smiles that will melt you into a puddle right there on the floor, and he is not afraid to use it.

:: has a cow's milk protein allergy, just like his two older brothers did. for a while there, we thought that he was going to get away without the allergy, because for the first two weeks of our dairy trial, he seemed fine. then, during the third week, he developed eczema, started crying all the time, stopped sleeping well at night, and started spitting up. now that we are dairy-free again, life is much simpler (and more peaceful).

:: loves gabe. they smile and coo at one another every morning. it is pretty much the sweetest thing anyone will ever see. they really have a special relationship already.

:: has really big feet (so did gabe at this age). in fact, the footie pajamas that he wears fit all over except his feet. his feet are about a half-inch too long.

:: still takes a feeding (or two) at night, but goes straight to sleep after he is finished.

:: is a very sweet, laid-back baby. we are so blessed to have him as ours and can't imagine life without this precious little guy!

at eighteen months...

2011-07-02T09:04:00.003-04:00

our darling ezra...

:: loves his daddy. at the end of the day, it is usually ezra who announces steve's arrival home with a cheer. when he gets hurt, he will choose steve for comfort and he definitely favors steve most of the time.

:: is slowly learning to talk(although, most of the time, he sees fit to communicate with a pointed finger and an "uhhh!"). he says the words this, that, dada, gabe, titus, uh oh, all done, tractor, quack quack, and this morning, i am pretty sure he pointed to steve and told me "steve". on that note, he certainly does not say "mama". don't worry, i am not terribly bothered by it. in fact, it simply serves to highlight his special love for his daddy.

:: gives the best, squeezy hugs.

:: wants to be just like his big brother. he will do anything gabe does, including stand on a chair to help me cook, hold titus in his lap, dance when we put on music, play the air guitar, and take a time-out (after which, he will approach the nearest parent and say "yes daddy").

:: weighs 26 pounds (50-75th percentile) and is 33.75 inches tall (75-90th percentile). most notable, however, is his head which measures a whopping 50 centimeters around(95th percentile!)

:: sleeps on the bottom bunk in gabe's room about half of the time. we are slowly figuring out how to get the boys to sleep in the same room (we have to stagger their bedtimes and hope that gabe doesn't wake ezra up when he goes to bed). of course, it is a battle to keep a toddler on a mattress on the floor, but we are getting there.

:: eats like he will never see food again. as soon as i put food in front of him, his plate is empty and he is asking for more.

:: climbs. i thought we might come away from his toddler years without having to deal with this issue, but he is turning out to be worse than gabe was. i can't count the number of times i turned around this week to find him standing on the counter or the table or on top of the boys little oven.

:: has a bad habit (and i am not talking about the thumb sucking). as illustrated in the picture above, ezra likes to put his hand in his pants. alot. it was a little funny until he started peeing on the floor several times a day (because of his inability to keep his junk inside his diaper). nowadays, he wears a onesie under his clothes. still, when he gets tired, he will sit down on the floor and reach in from the leg of his shorts. so he naps in pants. kid needs a bodysuit. we are working on it.

:: didn't even flinch when he got his vaccination this week. just kinda looked at the nurse like "hey, lady, what the heck?!"

:: is the sweetest, most flirty boy. he loves everyone. and we love him. a lot.

who doesn't need a little more of this in their life?

2011-06-26T22:06:00.002-04:00

baby cooing, that is. seriously, so sweet.

swimming!

2011-06-25T09:12:00.002-04:00

there has been a lot of swimming going on these days! gabe has been taking swimming lessons for the last two weeks. we are still working on his confidence as a swimmer after his sudden fall into the pool last year. when we were at john and ofie's house last weekend, gabe discovered that he could touch in their shallow end. he spent saturday and sunday in their pool bounding around like he had never been scared of the water at all. then, when we stopped at the farm on our way home monday, steve taught him how to swim. just like that, he was confident enough to jump without holding hands and swim to the staircase with no help. by swim lessons on tuesday, he had regressed slightly because steve was not there with him, but he is still doing much better than i expected him to.

ezra, on the other hand, is not at all lacking in confidence! he jumps in, goes all the way under the water and comes up all smiles. he loves being in the water!

and, in tallahassee, even titus got in on the fun, cuddling with his mimi in the warm baby pool.

:: pictures courtesy of john's awesome underwater camera! ::

to see family

2011-06-24T19:46:00.004-04:00

last weekend, steve and the boys and i headed to tallahassee (and surrounding small towns) to visit family and friends. this was the first time many people have met titus, so we were definitely busy all weekend visiting with grandparents, great-grandparents, cousins and old friends. we filled our time with good food (thanks dad!), lots of pool time, peach picking, and a trip to the junior museum to see the animals. titus was a trooper through it all and is certainly proving to be a pretty laid back third kid.

i told steve last night that i have really come to appreciate living so close to our parents. i love that they can just pop over and take the boys for a few days whenever the mood strikes... and i love that they are around to celebrate birthdays and births and all manner of other small things that would not warrant a cross country trip, but are certainly more meaningful with them there. and if, one day, we find that God is calling us to move, i will certainly be sad to see this closeness go. so for now, we will embrace it and enjoy it and allow our boys to bask in the spoiled-ness of it.

tummy time

2011-06-11T13:59:00.002-04:00

for titus and gabe. yes, gabe. he insisted on having a turn after titus. weird kid.

additionally, please note how much titus favors gabe at this age.

boy's got moves

2011-06-07T21:16:00.003-04:00

a couple of weeks ago, crystal linked to a music video by hanson (yes, hanson, and my inner eleven-year-old swooned slightly). of course, curiosity got the best of me and i clicked on it. immediately, my two crazy boys ran up to watch with me (as they always do when there is a video playing) and they were instantly hooked. that afternoon, we watched it no less than a dozen times while they danced and danced and danced. then, the next day, gabe requested that we watch it again. now, it has become the thing i turn to at the end of our longest days... i can use it to get a guaranteed half-hour's peace while the boys dance all their energy out. gabe has picked up some pretty killer moves, and ezra has discovered his inner dancer as well. sometimes titus and i even get in on the fun... yeah, we are crazy like that.

i am wondering...

2011-06-03T13:58:00.002-04:00

if titus is showing the first signs of having the ears?! wouldn't that just be the best! i sure think so.

before i actually had kids...

2011-06-02T10:30:00.002-04:00

i always said that i would never let a mess get in the way of a really good time. i did pretty well at first letting gabe do fun messy things on a regular basis. then, when ezra was born, we did a few less things and as time went on, we got so busy that i actually forgot about my resolution to bring on the mess along with the fun. not that we stopped doing fun things... its just that the fun things that we were doing involved going out (to the park, to feed the ducks, to the library, to target) and didn't necessitate getting messy.

now that titus is here, we definitely find ourselves home more often than not. of course, in a few months, i anticipate leaving the house just as much as we did before (because if you really know me, you know that i get a little stir crazy at home) but for the time being, it is simpler and makes infinitely more sense for us to stay close to home most days.

so for now, while we are home, and my incredibly energetic boys are stuck inside most of the time, i am trying to remember to turn a blind eye to the amount of clean-up an activity might take and let them have their fun. even if i have to mop the floors... again. or give them yet another bath (after all, isn't taking a bath just swimming indoors anyways?). or spend the next year picking dried beans up off the floor.

and i suppose in the end, i won't remember how much time it took me to clean all of the paint footprints up off the floor... i will just be happy to recall how sweet chubby toddler feet look when they are covered in finger paint.

intensity

2011-06-01T22:11:00.002-04:00

gabe does all things with intensity. even those things that really ought to be done delicately.

beach

2011-05-31T21:22:00.004-04:00

on sunday, our gospel community group went to the beach, so steve and i packed up all three boys, a picnic dinner and a few sand toys and joined them. it was absolutely gorgeous out (with the wind blowing off the water, you almost didn't notice the heat) and we had a great time. titus did pretty well: sleeping a little, flirting a little and crying a little. gabe played in the water forever and wouldn't even let steve hold his hand. and ezra... well he spent most of the night walking up and down a friend's surfboard. so glad summer is finally here!

three-year-old gabe

2011-05-25T21:46:00.003-04:00

finally, we made it to the pediatrician and got the stats on three-year-old gabe. so, a couple months late, but here is the here it is!

gabe at three years...

:: weighs in at 35 pounds (75-90th percentile) and is 38.75 inches tall (75-90th percentile).

:: has quiet time every day, but only naps a couple of times a week. gabe has never needed as much sleep as some kids do, so i was not surprised when he started to drop his nap. when i was pregnant, i would make him nap with me, but nowadays, he is back to playing through a decent number of naptimes a week.

:: loves orange. in fact, at the moment he is obsessively bothered by the tan walls in his room and often suggests that perhaps we should paint his room orange.

:: can spot and name almost all of the letters in the alphabet and most of the numbers as well. for the most part, he is self taught.

:: has an entire army of imaginary friends. in fact, he spends not a moment of the day alone! many of his imaginary friends are kids from church, but a very large number of them are completely made up and have completely unpronounceable names.

:: loves to play with ezra. finally sweet ezra has demonstrated his worth as a playmate to gabe, and they are now nearly inseparable. they play together all day in gabe's room and are such great buddies now! in fact, this morning, gabe declared to me that he and ezra were sharing cheerios because "we are best friends, and best buddies."

:: is a big kid. just ask him. and if, for some reason, you forget that he is big, he will surely remind you. and then he will stand up straight and say "see?"

:: is an amazing big brother to titus. he comforts him when he cries ("it's okay, titus, your big brother's here") and loves to hold him. it is so sweet to see him show such care to titus.

:: amazes us everyday with his language and insight. there is no doubt in our minds that he is a bright kid and he definitely loves to learn. he is constantly asking questions about the things around him. the current question of choice is probing the fruit-ness of everything. "mom, is a rock a fruit?" "mom, is steak a fruit?"

the view from here...

2011-05-19T13:59:00.003-04:00

has changed dramatically since last month.

life is a little more chaotic, a little more loud and just a little more perfect. today, i made (and ate) lunch with one hand while a very sleepy, slightly cranky titus slept in my arm. there is much to juggle, but i know that there will be a time, really not too far from now, when i wish there was a little more craziness in my life... when i will wish to make lunch with one hand and cuddle with the other.

trying to remember to soak it all in while he is so tiny. trying to remember to be thankful for the quiet, sleepy moments with just him, even the ones that interrupt my sleep.

they will pass so quickly, and i want to remember them fully.

piano man

2011-05-16T10:07:00.001-04:00

i love the joy on ezra's face when he plays the piano.

the brothers

2011-05-05T20:26:00.003-04:00

today was my second day alone with all three boys (gabe and ezra went to stay with steve's parents for a few days right after we got back from the hospital). there is certainly more juggling and thinking ahead required to balance a one-week-old, a sixteen month old and a three-year-old than i figured there would be. but, i am happy to report that we are adjusting and learning and settling in. slowly, life with three is beginning to feel more normal.

as for the two older brothers, they are thrilled with titus's presence. gabe dotes on him and soothes him whenever there are tears. he has this incredibly sweet voice that is reserved only for titus. he has also finally grasped the fact that titus will not be able to play with him until he gets bigger. i think that was a little disappointing for him at first, but he seems content now with simply cooing at him.

ezra's first reaction was to immediately poke and prod titus. he is endlessly curious about the very sleepy, often very loud creature that has taken over our house. i have to watch him very closely so that titus doesn't end up with a finger in the eye or a smack on the face. ezra is also very proud of his ability to identify titus. dozens of times a day, he gets my attention simply to point and say "dadas", which we quickly realized is his way of saying titus's name. when titus cries. ezra helpfully brings me a pacifier (but not before, unhelpfully, putting it in his own mouth). in fact, he brings me various titus-related things throughout the day.

it is so nice to have all three boys together and although there are certainly times when the chaos of it all gets the best of me, it is so thrilling to see them already learning to love and care for one another.

sleepy

2011-05-03T21:17:00.002-04:00

we are a little sleepy around here. but there is more to come shortly, we promise.

making an entrance

2011-04-30T08:07:00.007-04:00

titus is here!

and of course, he could not have made a more dramatic entrance. i should have known that as a third boy, he would probably feel the need to make a name for himself and to distinguish himself from the other two. so, to clear the air and lend some understanding to a very confusing series of events, here it is: the terribly dramatic, incredibly surprising story of titus's birth. (and if you don't want any gory details, stop reading now because there may be a few.)

{thursday, april 21}

my appointment with the midwife was encouraging. i went in and found out that i was 3cm dilated. i had my membranes stripped (which for both gabe and ezra was all it took to put me into labor) and headed home. for the rest of the day, i had contractions. they were about every 5 to 7 minutes, but not terribly painful. that night, we went to sleep expecting very little.

{friday, april 22}

i woke up surprised to still be having contractions. since they were still coming about every 5 minutes, and since steve had the day off, we headed to meet some friends at the splash park at the beach. throughout the morning, the contractions worsened. by the evening, they were coming every 3 to 4 minutes and were decently strong. i figured we still had plenty of time (since it took hours and hours and hours to reach active labor with both gabe and ezra), so we headed downtown for coquina's good friday service. at this point, things seemed to be playing out in the usual way and we thought we would be going to the hospital in the middle of the night. my mom headed over so that she could stay with the boys, but by 1am, it was clear that it would be longer than we expected and we all went to bed.

{saturday, april 23}

we woke up to almost no contractions at all. obviously, this was a disappointment, but we made the best of it and spent the day enjoying having my mom around and hoping that the contractions would come back on their own. we took the boys to the fort and went to luli''s for cupcakes. after dinner, my mom headed home and we went to sleep exhausted and a bit discouraged.

{sunday, april 24}

easter sunday and titus' due date. i woke up with no contractions. we celebrated easter with the boys and prepared to have a normal week with no baby.

{monday, april 25}

i went to the midwife in the afternoon. i was about 4cm dilated and had my membranes stripped again.

{tuesday, april 26 and wednesday, april 27}

no progress.

{thursday, april 28}

i had an early morning appointment with the midwife to check on the baby's heart rate and make plans for induction on friday. baby looked great and i was almost 5cm dilated. we made a plan to induce in the morning and did one more stripping of the membranes just for good measure.

i headed home and the boys and i ate lunch and napped. i had a few contractions here and there, maybe one every 10 or 15 minutes. obviously, i just ignored these, and when steve got home, we headed to a potluck birthday party.

we got to the party around 7:30. our friends were all a little surprised to see us, as most people figured we would have had the baby already. we hung out for a while, got some food and sat down to eat. as i made gabe a plate, i began to notice that i was having more contractions and that they were getting stronger. a few minutes later, i decided it would be smart to time a few to see how quickly they were coming. they started getting stronger and i started having trouble tolerating them with a smile. after timing five or six, it was clear that i was in labor. i suggested to steve that we should get ready to leave, thinking that we would take the boys home, secure someone to sit with them and head to the hospital later in the evening.

at this point, steve is thinking that i am being dramatic and would rather i left him alone so that he can eat his fried chicken in peace. i persisted, though, and by 8:00, we headed out the door. as we walked down the street, however, i realized that they contractions were a little too crazy. i told steve that we would need to have a friend take the boys home (thanks crystal!) so that we could go straight to the hospital.

at 8:05, i called missy (our midwife) from the car as we drove to the hospital. steve parked illegally in the ER drop-off zone and wheeled me upstairs to labor and delivery. they began to check me in and the contractions steadily worsened. missy arrived a short time later and checked me. i was 8cm, fully effaced and at a zero station. my water had not yet broken and because she is so sweet, missy presented me with my options. she told me that i could wait for the anesthesiologist to get there and attempt an epidural (which may or may not work this late in the game) or she could break my water and he would likely arrive within the half hour. i panicked. i let everyone know that i wanted to stop now and that i was tired of being in pain. after a moment to consider, i timidly told them to go ahead and break the water and get it all over with.

right away, missy broke my water and i was immediately ready to push. five pushes and steve laid him on my chest.

titus john sivyer was born at 9:05 PM (less than two hours after my labor began) and was perfect and small (only 8 pounds, 19.5 inches; by far our smallest newborn) and angry. he had a right to be angry, though, after all of that drama.

definitely one of the most incredible, stressful, painful, beautiful experiences of my life. i would never have expected titus to make such a crazy entrance, and have definitely spent the last three days wondering how on earth that happened to me and how on earth i managed to survive it.

one other thing i should mention: steve is amazing! he managed to keep me relatively calm and as comfortable as possible. and he didn't take it personally when i yelled and he didn't get frustrated when i said things like, "hold my hand. don't hold my hand. no, hold my hand." he delivered titus almost entirely on his own and handled the whole thing incredibly. i am so blessed to have a husband who can step up and handle a crisis!

so now, we have a gorgeous baby boy and i got away relatively unscathed again (no stitches whatsoever!! woo hoo!) and we are well on our way to settling into our new life as a family of five!

out of the mouth of gabe

2011-04-27T13:14:00.002-04:00

having a three-year-old is incredible and hilarious. he is constantly saying things that make me drop everything and text steve or that make me and steve look at each other in shock. he is a sponge and loves to tell you all about whatever new fact he has learned and ask questions about everything.

:: our first trip to the beach this year ::

some of the amazing things that gabe is saying these days:

:: as i whisper-relay a gabe story from the day to steve, "please let me hear your conversation"

:: he spent the weekend with my parents a while back, and in the car on the way home, he was telling me and steve about the farm animals he saw. he told us, "the donkey protects the goats from coyotes and dogs and predators" and was so proud of his understanding of the relationship between donkey and goat.

:: "me and ezzie need pens, too" (apparently he has nicknamed his brother)

:: as he is getting dressed for the day, he casually asks what his penis is for. i ask him what he thinks and he responds that it is for peeing. then he asks me "what is the junk for." again i ask him what he thinks, to which he replies "to hold up my penis!"

:: overheard as he is playing with two giraffe toys: "you stop pooping on my brother and me!"

:: he is always very concerned when we go anywhere that we will leave something at home. it is not uncommon for him to panic and tell me that we have forgotten my purse or ezra's shoes. only he says, "mom! you gotfor ezra's shoes".

:: "i'm a sink builder. i build sinks"

:: from the bathroom, "mom, i drink juice, it goes to my bladder, it goes to my penis and i pee."

:: on easter morning when steve asked what happened to jesus, gabe laid on the floor and gave this explanation: "jesus wasn't dead. he stood up, opened the cave and RUNNED AWAY!" then he ran a few laps around the kitchen table just to make it seem more real.

:: ezra has a nasty habit of throwing his drink on the floor during meals. gabe has made it his personal quest to make sure that ezra gets his cup back promptly. one day, at the end of lunch, gabe decided that it was too much and said, "holy crap, ezra, don't do that! it makes me sad you do that!"

:: gabe is currently obsessed with having a baby sister and is convinced that one will follow closely after his new brother comes. one night as steve was tucking him in for bed, when asked if he would please pray for mommy and the baby gabe responded "i don't want to pray for titus, i want to pray for my baby sister." and when steve pointed out that titus would be a boy, gabe responded "i want to pray for the sister we are having after titus."

:: with incredible concern "mom, how will the baby get out? your butt? you have poop in your butt, don't get him dirty."

:: coming downstairs at a friend's house to update me on the plot of the movie that the kids have put on (the grinch) "mom! that green monkey took those kids up the mountain so he can eat them!"

:: as we sit in the chick-fil-a drive-thru, gabe notices the deer sticker on the back of the truck in front of us. he casually lets me know, "that truck does deers". when i ask what that truck does with the deer he responds, "it washes them."

:: nothing beats the exhaustion that comes after a weekend at grandma's::

{note} the pictures in this post have nothing to do with anything, just couldn't post without a few shots.

easter

2011-04-26T13:21:00.005-04:00

sunday, we celebrated easter with (unexpectedly) only two sons. yes, we were expecting to have had little mister #3 before the weekend's festivities but, as they often do, he surprised us all and is still clinging to his quiet, laid-back life in the womb. no worries, we are hanging in there and hoping he comes soon (he will, it seems, be our laziest baby so far, coming even more late than little gabe did) and trying to enjoy our last few days as parents of (only) two amazing kids (and of not being outnumbered).

we kept busy over the weekend (you know, so that we were distracted from the stress of my still being pregnant), going to the splash park, good friday service downtown, brunch and church sunday morning, easter parade, and dinner with friends sunday night. for the boys this year, instead of the usual stuffed animals, i made train conductor hats. gabe loves to pretend these days, but dress-up clothes for little boys are hard to come by. so, we made our own. and gabe insisted on taking his hat and whistle straight to a little red train that is downtown in order to give them a try.

we had such a lovely weekend, and although it certainly was not what we expected, i am glad that things turned out the way they did.

A week to go?

2011-04-15T01:26:00.006-04:00

Guest post by hubby Steve.

So I've begun to get sentimental about my boys.

How can I not? Three boys in three years, a veritable army, an infantry of powerful little muscles and mops of messy hair wreaking chaos wherever their boots land--what father could feel otherwise?

Three years ago the family tree was beginning to wilt. Don Sivyer had seven children of whom three were men. Those men (Don Jr, John, and Dan) produced a son each (Geoff, Steve, and Sean). Three years ago the grandsons had produced nothing.

Then we had a male explosion, a bratwurst festival unleashed upon the world. Geoff had Jude and Isaiah, and Steve had Gabe and Ezra, with Titus on the way. The Sivyer tree started looking pretty strong again.

So here I sit three years hence, waiting on Titus, exhausted from doing all the housework that pregnant wifey cannot--nay, will not--do, exhausted from the demands of a job that apparently Gabe isn't all that impressed by (when I bragged about working hard to feed the family, Gabe said: "But a lot of daddies do that."), and I think of my boys. I think of moments like this:

Or this:

Beautiful children. Titus, come on down!

the view from here...

2011-04-06T20:52:00.004-04:00

is familiar. i have done this twice before, and all in the last three years, so i definitely don't feel like i am in strange territory. only, it is different this time, as i am sure it always is no matter how many times you do it.

for one, i am carrying what will likely be our smallest baby to date. this means that, despite some complaining i am actually really enjoying this time of rest and closeness to our third son. he is much easier to carry than gabe or ezra (especially ezra!) ever were, and i am reasonably comfortable even at 37.5 weeks along.

and of course, i am incredibly excited to meet him, but am also content allowing him to stay put for the next couple of weeks. for the first time, i am enjoying the excitement and anticipation without any of the nervousness or anxiety.

sure, there are things (many, many things) still to be done before his arrival, but it is somehow easier to enjoy this time without worrying about when or how they will get done. thats not to say that i shouldn't get my butt in motion on a few of those still-to-be-completed tasks (like packing for the hospital, pulling the car seat down from the attic, filling out hospital paperwork... you know the things that most people have completed well before the 37 week mark... especially when little boy #2 came at 37.5 weeks).

it is possible that i am simply in denial that he is actually going to make an appearance at all. after all, he is so small... i don't give birth to babies before they reach at least 8 pounds, so he will probably stay in there for a few extra months, right?!

in fact, i shouldn't admit it, but of course i will, i just haven't given him permission to come until after i finish the blanket that i started months ago and intended to have done already. so, he simply must stay put until it is completed. and maybe i need to step my knitting pace up a notch just in case he doesn't.

either way, he will come soon, and i will be thrilled, and our family will have grown. again. it's going to be lovely.

at least my toenails have been painted.

a park party

2011-04-04T20:46:00.003-04:00

yesterday, we celbrated gabe's birthday with friends and family. one thing that i have always said (and plan to hold out on) is that we will always keep birthday parties in our family simple. this year, we opted to go to gabe's favorite park and let him ride his scooter, feed the ducks and kick the soccer ball around. there was a zoo cake and a hippo pinata and we invited his grandparents, our gospel community and few other church families that gabe particularly loves to come along and just hang out. it was wonderfully laid back and exactly what we needed.

there was one little thing this year, though. both of our boys were sick. we have been battling various illnesses for about two weeks now, and rather than cancel the party entirely, we were grateful that it was outside so that the boys could do some much running around and we provided gabe with a cupcake with candles to blow out so that he would not contaminate the cake. both boys were so happy to be outside for the first time in what feels like weeks. and although it has meant that they have been particularly whiny and sad all day today, i am definitely glad we went through with it.

in the end, it was a great time and gabe was so pleased to have so many of his favorite people there.

unbelievable

2011-03-30T12:37:00.004-04:00

yesterday was gabe's third birthday. i am sure i do not have to express how unbelievable it is that my sweet little boy is already a three-year-old. but really, it is quite unbelievable.

we are astounded at what an incredibly bright, compassionate, creative child he is and are so blessed that he is ours to love.

will follow up with some facts about three-year-old gabe's personality and development as soon as we have his well check-up next week. for now, just know that he is amazing and we love him more than there are words to say.

anniversary

2011-03-26T19:48:00.002-04:00

recently, our church celebrated its fifth anniversary, and, as we do every year, we celebrated together with a big party! we all met up at the pier, there was jamaican food, entertainment, sand volleyball, and at the end of the night, a whole pack of exhausted kids! it really was such a special time of celebrating the incredible blessing that our church has been to us. and of course, i have only the most random collection of pictures to show for it. but these days, i take what i can get!

ezra

2011-03-19T20:40:00.002-04:00

at fifteen months, ezra:

:: weighs 25 pounds (75th percentile) and is 32.5 inches tall (90th percentile). additionally, his head circumference is in the 90-95th percentile.

:: loves to throw his hands up and exclaim "ta da!"

:: insists on giving everyone kisses before bed. steve, me, gabe... no one escapes the open-mouth, tongue-out smooch of a sleepy ezra.

:: finally started walking about a month ago. but not in a tentative way like other babies. no, sweet ezra collected skills and knowledge until he was ready to do it right. one day, he just let go of a chair and walked across the room, and he has been walking like a pro ever since.

:: is a dancer and a singer just like his brother. when gabe sings, ezra is happy to join in. and in the mornings, we sometimes lay in bed and listen to him sing over the monitor. it is so incredibly sweet.

:: is obsessed with his belly button. and mine.

:: plays with gabe in his room. i must say that this is one of my favorite things on earth. i love that they are becoming such good friends!

:: moves into gabe's room at night after he falls asleep. about a month ago, we got a junior loft bed for the boys to share. ezra's mattress is on the floor and gabe has a bunk above is about 4 feet up. it is perfect for them and gabe loves waking up with ezra in his room! we have not quite mastered falling asleep in the bunk bed yet, but there is still time before the baby needs the crib, so we are in no hurry.

:: is still taking two naps a day. a great one in the morning and and shorter one in the afternoon.

:: has seven teeth and loves to chew on toothbrushes!

:: had surgery on thursday to clear his still-blocked tear duct. he did beautifully and was in and out in just fifteen minutes. i told steve that as far as ezra was concerned, he went to a neat building with a fish tank, made a few friends, took a little nap and hung out with his mimi for a bit. i even took the boys to storytime at the library afterwards because they were so restless. i should note that he was the cutest kid on earth in his hospital gown!

to memory

2011-03-11T19:09:00.003-05:00

as a mother, there are certain moments that i wish to commit to absolutely permanent memory. one day, when our boys have been long gone from our home, i hope i remember this.

the way he so sweetly emerges from his room each afternoon, still sleepy-eyed and stumbling, messy hair and raspy voice, requesting for mommy to please "cuddle me."

and as he slowly returns to his lively, energetic self, we talk. about how big he is getting. about how life will change when he is a big brother twice over. about what he was like when he was a baby. about anything and everything that can be contained in the heart and mind of an almost-three-year-old boy.

and i know that this is a fleeting moment. one day soon, there will be more pressing things for this oh-so-quickly growing son of mine to do than to lay with his mama and get a back rub and have his hair played with and talk about whatever comes to mind.

and so i sit with him. for as long as he will allow. i soak it in and hope that one day, a long time from now, i will remember him just like this. heavenly.

one way to use up the last of the finger paint...

2011-03-01T17:19:00.003-05:00

is to let your one-year-old eat it.

on the other hand, at least he wasn't afraid of it. gabe insisted on having a napkin nearby to use if he got any of the finger paint on his hands. i think he may be missing the point altogether.

"let's talk about caves"

2011-02-25T20:01:00.003-05:00

while scootering around the house one day last week, gabe said to me "let's talk about caves" and preceded to tell me everything he knew about caves and how they are made. when i told steve about it later, he suggested that while we were in tallahassee for the weekend, maybe we should go to marianna caverns so that gabe could visit a real cave.

so, last saturday we ventured to marianna to check out the caves. we brought a picnic lunch and after we bought our tour tickets and found out that there was a three hour wait time for our tour, enjoyed eating at a picnic area, playing on the playground nearby, driving around in the country, picking cotton off the side of the road, and napping in the car (the boys, not us).

then came time to make our way into the caves. at first, gabe was cautious (his new default mode). but it didn't take long for him to be completely awed and excited about the whole thing. he drank it all in and make faces of amazement and all of those things that make a mama's heart swell a little. at one point, they turned the lights out for a minute to allow you to see just how dark a cave gets. at the very end, the guide showed us a little bat that was hanging on the wall, and as we emerged from the cave, we heard an owl calling in the woods (boy do i wish i had been able to take a picture of gabe's face when he heard that owl! priceless!).

on our way home, i told gabe that my favorite part was when they turned the lights off... steve said his favorite was when we saw the bat... then gabe told us that his favorite part was when they turned the lights back ON!

he is still talking very enthusiastically about our trip to the cave, so i guess we could call it a successful family outing.

treaty park

2011-02-16T20:05:00.004-05:00

steve has been working hard this week so that he can take off on friday for a doctor's appointment in jacksonville for ezra, then we're off to tallahassee for the weekend! unfortunately, that means long days at home as well. to combat this, we have been making it a point to include an outing in the late afternoon each day. on monday, we went to treaty park for playground/ scooter/ duck pond time. and the boys even tolerated a little "sit still so mommy can get a few pictures of you in this blindingly green grass" time. gabe adored being able to ride his new scooter all over the park and ezra equally adored the opportunity to crawl around looking for weird/yummy things to put in his mouth.

additionally, let it be noted that the tilted pictures are not done so in order to achieve any artistic goal, but rather because i was too big to get close enough to the ground to level them out. just saying.

Gabe gets a scooter from island uncles

2011-02-12T11:44:00.012-05:00

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands once. Now they just call it "The Islands".

My very excellent tío José Ignacio "Joe" Alsina y Garmendia, who basks in the Perpetual Sun and Surf of his home on Hull Bay (St Thomas USVI), sent Gabe and Ezra a Walmart gift card for Christmas. Joe looks something like this:

Gabe naturally thought of no other purchase (at least after we said no to guns, knives, and bats) but a terrific kick-scooter, which he termed a "scootboard" (portmanteau of "skateboard" and "scooter", with a nod to the Norse practice of linguistic conflation).

Brittany seen relaxing on Joe & Julia's back porch below, looking out at the Brass. If anyone needs a construction job and could suffer through living in St. Thomas, let my uncle know.

And Joe and me standing over a little cove wherein we swam and pillaged the local whelk population (kudos Julia for the fine stew she whipped up afterward).

too big to do anything else

2011-01-31T21:02:00.003-05:00

lately, lots of people have been asking me how i am feeling. for the last few weeks, the answer has been an honest "so great, i can't believe how good i still feel".

not anymore. not sure what happened, but almost as quickly as i went from 27 to 28 weeks, i got huge and tired. you would think that i could be more prepared for the coming of the last trimester, what with having done it twice before, but that would be too easy. i let my guard down and now i find myself surprised at how exhausted i can get. and how poorly i breathe. and how achy i am. and what a saint my dear husband is for putting up with me the last few days. but then, i guess that last one is not really a surprise at all; he is always as saintly as i am whiny.

anyways, not the point of this post at all...

the point is that at the end of the day today (although if i were being honest, i would really say towards the end of the day, since it was only 6:00) i had spent all of my energy. and steve had to work late. so, rather than continue to allow my children to destroy my house while i watched helplessly from the couch, i filled the tub with water and a mountain of bubbles, plopped them in, pulled out my camera, sat on the bathroom floor, and let them go to town while i entertained myself taking pictures of their sillyness. it was much better than allowing them to destroy the house. and i am sure steve appreciated it more too.

in the end, i never quite found the energy to actually bathe them.. just pulled them out of the tub, dried them off and called it a night. a good night.

friends and family

2011-01-28T12:47:00.002-05:00

for the past year-and-a-half, we have had a gospel community from our church meeting in our home. each week we host, and our group meets over dinner and to grow together in the Word and in service to our neighborhood. this group has come to be our family here in St. Augustine. in fact, the last year has seen some pretty crazy circumstances, through all of which our amazing community has supported and loved and carried us with the most incredible grace and care.

on saturday, we went to the park with several people from our gospel community (yes, on this day!) and enjoyed just being together. it was cold but lovely to spend time doing plain 'ol family and friends stuff.

while i cook...

2011-01-25T20:11:00.002-05:00

the boys (all three of them) scheme up scenarios like this one...

evidence

2011-01-24T22:51:00.004-05:00

he did it! on saturday, while we enjoyed the beautiful (and cold) weather and our amazing friends at treaty park, ezra finally decided that he would walk. actually, i think that he was too cold to think about what he was doing, let his guard down a minute, and took a few steps without thinking. now that he is all warmed up and in his right mind again, he is back to refusing to do anything besides crawl. but i dont mind... thanks to our friend, crystal, we have the evidence right here!

because we can

2011-01-22T20:19:00.002-05:00

thanks to a hand-me-down swing set ("fwingset", if you ask gabe, complete with "fwings" and a "fwide"), a basketball hoop from gabe's 2nd birthday, and a little room to run, the backyard has finally become a place to play around here. we spend most afternoons out there, and when it rains (as it has so many days this week!), gabe spends the day trying to convince me that it is not, in fact, wet outside so that he can go out.

my dream is to get a screen door so that in the summertime i can let the boys go out and hear them and see them while i cook dinner without worry of letting all of the mosquitoes in st. johns county into the house.

also, while i am on the subject of our backyard, i might mention how super excited i am for our spring vegetable garden! of course, i will be doing as little planting as possible, as i currently find it a little difficult to reach the ground and also a little tough to get back up once i am sitting all the way down there. but that is why i have my guys to help me!

noggin

2011-01-17T09:39:00.001-05:00

when gabe was a baby, we taught him to fist bump and high-five. we went a different route with ezra.

good for a laugh

2011-01-13T19:15:00.002-05:00

i laugh a lot these days. not only is gabe getting older (would you check out these pictures! this cannot be my baby boy!) but he is also getting terribly funny. in the car, at the dinner table, as we talk before bed... it seems that everytime we let our guard down, he blurts out something that astounds us and makes uu cry with the pain of unstoppable laughter. usually it is funny simply because we didn't see it coming. a few of our most recent examples:

:: "i smoking this. we blow the smoke" said as he puffed on a sucker stick in the backseat of the car. when asked where he learned that he replied, "from my mimi". in defense of poor mimi, i am pretty sure the last part was a lie.

:: anything long and thin (stick, drumstick, sword) is a "boom sword" (you know because when you thrust it into the air, you yell "boom"). all guns are "caulking guns" and thus make the sound "caulk" when you shoot them. we often hear the phrase "i caulk the bad people".

:: "mom, i have a cheese in my butt" in reference to dropping shredded cheese down his pants.

:: "this mama poop is big and strong" from the bathroom where, apparently, gabe was pooping.

:: "i just pooped, dude" blurted out as we are silently eating our lunch. he had not pooped. and he said this very seriously and then returned to eating quietly as if he had said nothing at all.

:: he says "no, please" but what he means is "not thank you". he just cant keep it straight.

:: "what you problem?" this is what gabe asks when he is wearing his stethoscope. it is usually followed up with "you have a baby in you belly?". then, he puts lotion on the end of the stethoscope, listens to the baby and uses a tissue to clean off my belly when he is finished. boy pays close attention at the midwife's office.

:: "you're a genius". no idea where this comes from, but it comes up at just about every meal.

:: "i'm obnoxious!" i do know where this one comes from. while i was sick over christmas, he watched finding nemo every day for almost a week. he quotes that movie a lot right now.

:: as we are walking in hobby lobby... casually: "zoe, you are brown." to which zoe replies that she is, in fact, black. gabe looks puzzled and tries again, "i am yellow. mommy, you yellow?". he is really into observing details, and this is the one he notices right now.

artists

2011-01-12T20:53:00.002-05:00

this week, our friends, the andersons, are in wales exploring the possibility of planting a church there. their four girls stayed behind, three with their grandparents and one, their youngest, zoe, with us. gabe has been delighted to have a friend around all the time, sleeping on his floor, riding in his car, eating at his table. i even caught him referring to her as his sister yesterday. they have done remarkably well together and have had very little conflict. it has been an adventure!

one things these two love to do while ezra takes his morning nap, is paint.

sweet ezra

2011-01-03T08:44:00.000-05:00

before i close out 2010...

2011-01-02T20:46:00.002-05:00

here are a few last minute shots of our boys in december.

almost a month's worth of illness here has meant a quiet, stay-at-home kind of end to our otherwise busy year. but i suppose sometimes we need to be reminded to slow down a bit and just enjoy one another.

that said, i wouldn't mind if we were finished with sickness for a while.

christmas- post-illness

2010-12-30T19:45:00.003-05:00

now that we seem to be on the other end of this horrible respiratory monster that we have been battling all week, i will post all of the (of course) random pictures of our christmas. i always hope to record our most special occasions with more attention to detail, but i am lucky that we have any pictures at all from this year. just looking through the camera's viewfinder made my headache pound harder, so i am glad for what we have.

We opened gifts four times for christmas this year (with different sets of relatives), which confused the heck out of gabe. but naturally he thought it was all a lot of fun!

as for the day itself, it was a lazy one. i spent most of the morning cooking and picking up so that i could spend the afternoon resting. steve spent a decent portion of the day cleaning out closets, getting rid of lots of stuff, and making room for new things. the boys, of course, spent most of the day playing.

the highlight of our holiday, though, was the little kitchen. i have wanted a kitchen for the boys for a very long time, but because of the size of our house, deemed a store-bought one an impossibility. if we were to own a play kitchen, it would have to be made to specifically fit in a spot that i had already chosen for it. a friend gave us an old end table and we started making plans. of course, it would not have turned out nearly as nice had a (fantastic! amazing! wonderful!) couple at our church, jim and patty, not taken the project under their wing. they adopted our little end table and returned it to us on christmas eve completely remade and amazing! without them i am sure we could have come up with something, but this was better than we could ever have imagined on our own!

Christmas!

2010-12-25T16:17:00.001-05:00

i love my family.

2010-12-18T12:53:00.001-05:00

first birthday fun

2010-12-15T12:49:00.003-05:00

sunday, steve's parents and my mom came over after church to celebrate ezra's birthday with us. i made the most random cake ever and ezra hesitantly opened a few gifts while gabe ripped through a few as well. i love the sweetness and intimacy of a family birthday. this celebration was lovely and we are grateful to have had close family to share it with.

sivyer christmas extravaganza day

2010-12-11T09:37:00.002-05:00

one week ago today, our little family squeezed so much christmas into one day i thought we might not survive. it was glorious! we bought ornaments, went to the st augustine christmas parade, purchased a tree, decorated the tree and the rest of the house, and went to a local church's lights show. it was immensely fun!

as an aside, the st augustine christmas parade is one of my favorite things about this town. it seems that all you have to do is own a moving vehicle of some sort or own an obscure business and you are permitted to be in the parade. i always enjoy the incredible randomness of the parade more than any other aspect. here is a taste of what we were blessed enough to enjoy this year.

one!

2010-12-10T20:01:00.002-05:00

already, my sweet little newborn is a one-year-old. i can't think about it too much or i will cry (cut me some slack, though, i am chock full of hormones these days). he is such a perfect addition to our little family and we couldn't imagine life without our sweeet ezra.

at one year old, ezra

:: crawls like a pro, stands on his own, and walks holding onto walls and furniture. no sign of any interest whatsoever, though, in actually walking. no worries. i am content with a crawler for now.

:: loves to yell "hi" to anyone and everyone until he gets some acknowledgement!

:: has four teeth: two front bottom teeth, and two front vampire teeth. what a great smile that makes!

:: is still a vegetarian, but will eat just about anything that is placed in front of him.

:: gets a cookie now when we go to publix. he also really loves to drive the car cart and even turns the wheel enthusiastically.

:: is a bit of a mama's boy, but i am not complaining.

:: loves to be read to. and will sit contently in your lap for extended periods of time. after gabe's energetic start on life, this is a bit surprising.

:: weight 21 pounds and is 32 inches long (which is 95th percentile for his weight)!

:: still has a blcked tear duct which, sometime this year, will likely have to be surgically corrected. now worries, though, it shouldn't be a big deal at all.

:: still sucks his thumb, and now also kneads his ear with his other hand. guess left hand was just bored.

:: gives huge, open-mouth kisses. this is my favorite thing that babies do and i melt everytime he offers me a kiss.

:: knocks his head into mine (or steve's or gabe's) when prompted with the words "ezra, noggin".

:: gives high-fives.

:: is awesome.

giving thanks

2010-12-08T13:43:00.003-05:00

this thanksgiving, we opted to spend the day at home. steve and i both come from large extended families and we have spent every thanksgiving since our wedding out of town visiting family. this year, though, we decided that we wanted to have thanksgiving here and celebrate with friends who were, for one reason or another, unable to be with their families. it was a gorgeous day and all of the food was amazing!

overload

2010-12-07T13:58:00.003-05:00

ready? it is time for picture overload so that i can be caught up to post over the holidays. here is our trip to nashville for katie's wedding (yes i know that it was over a month ago... shut-up).

we flew there and the boys were perfection in the airport and on the plane. gabe could not have been more thrilled to be flying and ezra slept the entire trip there. this post on flying with children was invaluable. they really did let us use one of the empty seats for ezra and a carseat!

when we got there, we had some time to kill, so sarah met us and we spent a day-and-a-half catching up and playing in nashville. this is what most of my pictures are from (although, obviously i forgot to get any pictures of me and sarah, but you know how i am).

then was the wedding, in which gabe was the cutest, most absolutely perfect ring-bearer the world has ever seen. of course, only one picture from that, and not a single picture of the bride and groom or anyone but my little family. oh well, i guess i am hopeless.

maybe one of these days, i will return from a trip with pictures to represent every aspect of our time. but dont get your hopes up.